How to Play With Breasts (2024)

Vanessa Marin

How to Play With Breasts (1)

Credit: Jim Cooke - In-House Art

Breasts can be pleasurable to play with for the one doing the playing and the breast-haver alike. Some people can even have orgasms from breast play alone. Others need breast play in combination with genital stimulation.

Here’s your field guide to the breast.

But first: Not everyone loves breast play

Like any other sexual act, consent is important when it comes to breast play. Keep in mind that some people may not want you to play with their breasts. For some people, it’s a matter of personal preference; for others, it’s a gender identity issue. Trans and genderqueer folks may not want their breasts touched.

You can and should as your partner directly what they feel comfortable with, or you can start slow by tracing your hand across their shoulders and collarbone area. If they tense up or move your hand away, move on to other parts of the body.

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Be sensitive to timing

Be aware that breast sensitivity can change throughout the month. There will probably be certain points during the menstrual cycle where they feel much more sensitive than usual. There may even be times when they are too sensitive for any sort of breast play. Don’t be surprised if your partner needs different things from you at different times.

Breasts also change a lot after a person has given birth and while breastfeeding. They may not want any breast contact for a while, or may need you to be much more gentle than usual.

No honking please

We’re all unique when it comes to how we like our bodies to be touched, but there are few sexual acts more universally despised than the breast honk. I have never met anyone who enjoyed having their breasts squeezed this way (especially not as sexual initiation). Please don’t treat your partner’s breasts like old-fashioned horns.

The same goes with kneading. It just doesn’t feel good for most women. Remember Jon Hamm’s breast play move on Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids? If you haven’t seen it, it’s the perfect example of lackluster kneading. Don’t pull that move.

In general, breast sensitivity comes from the skin, not from the fat of the breast itself. So honking, kneading, and squeezing don’t typically feel as great as stroking and kissing. These moves also neglect the nipple, which tends to be the most sensitive part of the breast (more on this later).

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Work with clothing

You don’t need to be in a rush to unclothe your partner’s breasts. Breast play can feel pleasurable even through clothing, and it can also be a nice way to tease them. Rub their breasts over their shirt. To evoke a sense of teenage nostalgia, put your hands up their shirt and play with their breasts over the bra. Once you get their shirt off, touch the parts of the breasts that the bra doesn’t cover, gliding your fingertips along the top edge of the bra.

Take your time

Even once you’ve gotten your partner’s clothes off, you can still take your time teasing them. Spend some time tracing their collarbone with your finger, then kissing along it. Touch and kiss along the sides of the breasts, without going straight for the nipple.

Pay attention to the underboob and sideboob

Most people tend to squeeze the entire boob, or focus on just the nipple. That’s a shame, because the underboob and side boob can both be exquisitely sensitive. I’m talking about the areas where the breast meets the ribcage. As the names imply, the underboob is the lower part of the breast, and the sideboob is the outer edge (the side near the armpit).

This area tends to respond best to delicate touch. Very gently trace a fingertip along this sensitive curve. Start at the outer edge and slowly work your way around to the middle of the chest. You can also do this with your tongue, or with light kisses.

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All nipples are unique

Nipples are sort of like clitorises: some people can hardly stand direct contact, while others need very firm pressure. As with the clitoris, it’s best to err on the side of being too gentle, then work your way up to more pressure. Start off by lightly stroking the nipple and circling the areola (the flat section around the pointy nipple). If your partner pushes their body towards you or makes a lot of noise, try gradually increasing pressure. Or just ask, “Do you want more?”

If they wants more intensity, try gently pinching the nipples between your thumb and forefinger. Slowly increase the pressure, and ask them to tell you when it’s too much. Or you can try pulling on the nipples: Cup a breast in your hand and pull on the nipple with your thumb and forefinger, pulling the breast further away from the ribcage. You can also gently twist the nipples—but be careful with this move, as it’s pretty intense.

Get your mouth involved

Get your lips, tongue, and teeth involved as well as your hands. You can lick, suck, and nibble on the breasts. Try licking the curve from sideboob to underboob, or sucking or nibbling on the nipples. You can also get some temperature play involved by licking a breast then lightly blowing onto the moistened area.

If your partner likes a lot of pressure, try sucking and biting on their nipples. Again, start off gentle, and gradually increase the pressure until you find what works.

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Bring in the toys

You can use vibrators or feather ticklers to create new sensations on the breasts. Even running a silk tie or scarf over the breasts can feel great. If your partner likes more intense nipple play, you can buy nipple clamps or suckers. You can also try blindfolding your partner, and touching their breasts with different toys or materials. Not knowing what’s coming can be a wildly intense experience. Or try using use lube or massage oil to help your hands really slide around on their breasts.

Ask your partner to touch them

Another way you can learn what your partner likes is to ask them to touch their own breasts. This can be especially hot while you’re in the middle of another activity, like intercourse or fingering. Watch the specific ways your partner touches their own body, and try to get a sense of how much pressure is involved.

This article was originally published in 2017 and updated on Nov. 3, 2020 to incorporate gender neutral language and align the content with current Lifehacker style.

How to Play With Breasts (5)

Vanessa Marin

Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist who helps people have way more fun in the bedroom. Head over to www.VMTherapy.com to check out online programs like Finishing School: Learn How To Orgasm.

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